Monday, April 11, 2016
"Do you know what a miracle is?" my friend Sarah asked me recently. "What?" I humor her.
"A change in perspective."
So sometimes I think this is just not possible. We are who we are. We think what we think. We know what we know: "If he loved me he would put his socks in the laudry basket" "If she is in a bad mood I can't deal with her" " I can't quit smoking, drinking, bingeing" "I'll never find love" "I don't really matter" "I am limited" "I can't stand my job, my life, my in-laws" "This work is too hard for me" "I don't have time or money or patience or luck" "S/he is awful" My parents are impossible" "The other shoe is going drop. And right on me" "We have to agree or I can't deal with him." "Nobody really cares" "If s/he does not change how s/he acts then I'm stuck/doomed" "This will never work" "There is no other way to work it out" "S/he is so self-centered" "There is no hope"
And we are so sure of it.
Often in my office, as we are unpacking the thought behind the thought and looking at the nature of thought and the different ways of looking at and living life, at both the very personal and the univeral wisdom about humanity and relationships, and when we are looking toward both insight and useful tools and strategies, we hit upon an idea that seems to offer up some hope and some help:
We often live life from the outside in. We focus on what needs to be changed in others and in the world, instead of how we look at things, at how we think and what we believe. This, of course, leaves us at the mercy of others and of the outside world.
Amazingly, and often, when we take a closer look at our thoughts in the moment and how they influence our thinking, how we feel our thinking, we can often have a new experience of life, people, circumstances, of ourselves.
It seems impossible to some. And preposperous to others - after all, we rely on our thinging, but what if much of our thought in the moment is not always reliable? What if we humanly, innocently have thoughts that run through us and influence us that are maybe not true, or not the only truth. What if how we view our thoughts and work with our perspectives could change our life?
At the intersection of personal emotional pain, shared and universal human wisdom and life expieriece and "coping mechanisms," we have the choice to learn to see through our thoughts and to examine our perspectives, Often when we do so, we come to have a different and much better
experience of life and people. One that we never imagined to be possible.