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Hope Forward: Surviving and Thriving through Emotional Pain: Decision Formula (I just don't know what to do!)

Monday, January 14, 2019

Decision Formula (I just don't know what to do!)

I'm not going to tell you its foolproof - but I do think that there are few ideas that can help us along when we don't know what to.  And when we are frustrated, confused, worried about how to proceed.  Two of my favorite quick go-tos, are remembering that when we don't know what to "yes" do, we can often access what to not do.  And when we don't know what we "yes" want, we can start by understanding what we do not want.  Its a start, a direction.
And then of course, there is always my old favorite:  Do the next right small thing.

I think sometimes what gets in the way for us, too, when it comes to decisions, is that we are afraid of making a mistake, or having to shoulder the responsibility for something we cannot possibly predict.

So I've come up with a few guidelines to help move us along.  We can't always do all of them in any give instant.  But we can look toward them as a general outline for knowing that if we have utilized them in some fashion, we are on the right track and can maybe feel some sense of peace about things.  That in some way, then, what ever happens may very well have been meant to be, or was truly out of our control.

So here they are: (in no particular order):

1) Check our motives and our moral compass  (don't judge them, just check them)
2) Consult with a trusted objective person(s) (talk it over)
3) Meditate
4) Pray (however you define prayer)
5) Are doing/did the best we could at the time with the knowledge we have
6) Are acting within the boundaries/guidelines of law, human kindness, respect and decency

Of course, we could debate each of them. And we could define them with much more depth, breadth and meaning.

And we sometimes need to just give ourselves some space, not think, and let thoughts and feelings run through us, until we hear our wisdom come through.  But I think they give us a check list of sorts.  So that we can live life more consciously and peacefully.  Maybe more compassionately and with more grace towards ourselves and others.

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