my space tracker

Hope Forward: Surviving and Thriving through Emotional Pain: August 2013

Monday, August 26, 2013

Feeling Groovy

It's August (you know this).  And though here in the office it is as appropriate as always to be talking about emotional pain, frustration, self worth, a better inner and outer life, it's good also to visit the idea that we should talk about the good stuff too, and that we need to rest our minds sometimes.

What does this have to do with it being August? -  I think this:  We need some levity and some breathing room sometimes.  Maybe more than sometimes.  And since August is often a vacation month, and the time just before school starts, and the holidays come upon us and life gets grooving into another cycle, it's a good time to remind ourselves about weaving some lighter thoughts and some restful moments into what can be the heaviness of our issues, our pain, our troubling circumstances.

Doing so does not take away our pain, or mean that we are disloyal to it, or that it is not valid and attention worthy. It just means that we can pay attention to other parts of ourselves and life.  It also helps our minds to take a breather, which can give us a new perspective, a new angle and a renewed sense of resiliency.

What kind of levity and breathing room am I talking about? Nothing fancy.  Taking a slow walk.  Staring at the stars.  Doing a short meditation (choosing a soothing phrase, closing your eyes and repeating it over and over slowly for five minutes once or twice a day), making a short list of what you "yes" have in your life that is good (eyes, ears, clean drinking water - to name a few).  Making a list of what you do well, have accomplished.  Donating to a charity. Watching an ant hill.  Going to the ocean. Sitting quietly with yourself a bit without media or your cell phone.

These are things that bring in some restful thinking, some respite from working on stuff, things that bring good feelings along to help you walk and work through the more difficult ones.

For a easy start: give this a listen. 

Monday, August 12, 2013

It's Not About the Nail (or is it?)

If you haven't seen this video (It's Not About the Nail)  give it a look!

Of course, "it" is actually about the nail, too.  But before we can get to the nail itself, we need to feel emotionally connected, supported and heard.  We need to feel understood.  That is part of the point really.

 Sometimes it takes a bit of bravery and some time to find out what, exactly, our particular nail actually is.  And when we have some good guesses , we can ask some good questions about the nail like: how did it get there in the first place? What unconscious purpose does it serve?  What is our reluctance to taking a look at it?  What if it were not there? 

Sometimes, the nail goes away just by studying it a bit.  Or just by having someone understand what it's like to be suffering.

And of course, the video highlights what often is the difference between male/female needs, experiences and approaches.  It's serious stuff, actually, in many ways, but the video brings a bit of levity.