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Hope Forward: Surviving and Thriving through Emotional Pain: October 2013

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Scholarship for Students with Major Depressive Disorder and Doing What We Are Supposed To Do

This came across my desk, so I thought I'd it pass it along.

The Lilly Reintegration Scholarship, a program that helps those battling with severe mental illness go back to school and reintegrate into society has a scholarship that aids students living with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, has now added Major Depressive Disorder to its list of qualifying disorders.

Since there are quite a few folks who might consider school and are coping with depression but are having difficulties with funding, this seems like a great resource.

And this too: If you don't do the things you're suppose to do, you are likely to start doing the things you are not suppose to do.

So I was thinking about how emotional pain can stop you in your tracks.  And how distracted you can get because of it, and how sometimes, at its worst, it can really get in the way of doing the daily normal routine of life, or doing the stuff that helps move us along toward better feelings and working things out, everything from taking care of our physical health to showing up for our family, friends, job, commitments.

And when we get off track, we more likely to change lanes into something less healthy, less productive, maybe dangerous even.  We do need relief after all.

Sometimes, healing the pain means sticking to right plan, even when we don't feel like it.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Good Things to Say

A few months ago a friend of mine had to make an important decision.  She had asked for my ears and my input (which I gave her).   She called yesterday to thank me for my words and said that they were very useful to her and helped her to move forward.  I was curious (of course) - which words?

Somewhere in the course of our discussion I had said that whatever she decided, I was with her.  That she had my support either way.

I recall that I said it and that I meant it.  I did not know exactly what direction she should take, but we talked out what the options were, the feelings, pros and cons and risks and I felt that I could and would support her either way.

It got me to thinking once again about how important and powerful words are.  How what comes out of our mouth matters a lot.  We can't always know how our words will be received or the impact they will have, but we can heighten our awareness and consider what we say and how and if it reflects what we mean.  It's easier to do when we are not working around or through or with big feelings, but it's good to say good things when we mean it, and when we can.

It also got me thinking about more good things we can say, just in the routine of our day, that can add a bit of support, joy, good vibes and good feelings to those we care about and even to the world around us.  I'm not suggesting we  be false, or chipper, but some genuine  good  and spontaneous words are among the not-so-little little things we can do to strengthen our relationships and build the esteem of those around us. 

Try a few of these: 

For Spouses:                               
 I looked forward to seeing you all day.
 Thank you for asking about my day.
 I love being at your side.
Everything is better because of you.
You work hard for us.

For Kids:                                      
It's an honor (gift, privilege) to be your mother/father.
You are such a great kid.
You have the best smile.
I'm on your side.
I like spending time with you.
I notice how hard you are working/trying.

For Bosses and/or Co-Workers:  
I appreciate your guidance/input/encouragement/feedback
I'm glad we work together.
Thank you for being such good company all day
I like the way you think.

For Parents:                       
You really took/take good care of me
Thank you for looking out for me
I remember the time you ..... Thank you for that.

For Friends:                    
I'm blessed to have you in my life
You're a good friend.
You're good company
Thanks for being here. Thanks for always ....
Of course saying good stuff has to fit your own style, tone and timing.

And I'm not suggesting that the difficult stuff gets brushed under the rug, I'm saying that good words often get lost, and its too bad because they really can help create a better culture and foster good feelings, which then go along way during the tough times.